What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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THE GAME.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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