Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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Poop

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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how do you get your son or daughters attention? break down the door to their room and promptly begin beating them with a wooden baseball and then tie them up to a chair and torture them for 24 hours.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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69

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Dumb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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