How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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why is rebecca black? because it's friday.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

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one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops