what does a chair look like? a chair.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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It says so on your cap.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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A rabbi and priest both go into a bar... and they each had a responsible number of drinks before walking home.

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Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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