"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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People Order Our Patties

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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Canadians

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops