How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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A man... walks.

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test

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Psychics.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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