Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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Jim bean takes out a can of- Let me guess- No.

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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