Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar they are good friends and enjoy alcoholic beverages.

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DEATH.

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops