Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Women's Professional _________

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops