how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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Neil is a reterd.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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a woman votes!

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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What does a nun and a hat have in common? Size

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What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

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So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

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Black Friday

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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