You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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What the hell are you doing?

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? .

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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Why was the woman?

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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A black man walks Into a bar.

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Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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