Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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non poop

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Your dads dead. lol

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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Basically

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Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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