Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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Knock Knock! Come in..

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

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- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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What's worse then the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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