Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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2 + 2 = fish

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops