fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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why did the Japanese boy drop his ice cream ? Because he was hit by a building.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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i like men but im not gay

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

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Yo mammals so stupid, she's got AIDS!

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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Why did the road cross the chicken? REVENGE

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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