how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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