Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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kesha is a virgin.

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What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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A man decided to enter the local pun contest. He sent in ten puns. One of them was very witty and he won the contest and felt very good about himself.

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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