Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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How are cars made? By magic.

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I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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