Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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<=3 penis

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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2 + 2 = fish

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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i like men but im not gay

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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