Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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Poop

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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chuck norris

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womens rights

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops