What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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its all aodhan

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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