what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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what's up? my penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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