Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

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why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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Bob:Know who's really stupid? Rick:Who? Bob:Your mum.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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