What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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Punching a baby

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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