Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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