The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

thumb_up thumb_down -2

just sit down and dont be a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's green and has wheels? A refrigerator, I lied about the green and the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

thumb_up thumb_down -2

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops