Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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Okay, yeah red, but you wont ever get to see it because you have gone stale.

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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Your sister's feet smell so bad people encourage her to go home and wash them.

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If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops