a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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A women's opinion.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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When life throws lemons at you, just give up and commit suicide!

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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Your social life.

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

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a man walks into a bar with a monkey i forgot the rest of the joke your moms a whore

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops