Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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God. God.

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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