How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to prove he could. Did it workout? NO

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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