What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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Seven

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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Your adopted.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops