If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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