What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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A Pakistani news reader.

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Cool Brian

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How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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