The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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