Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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Why did Bob fall over? He was impaled by a narwhal. -BG

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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