How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

what's red and horny a red unicorn

if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

Some people like melon and others like soup.

You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

why did sally drown cause she was black

A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

Those last 4 were by: Walter

What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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