A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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A kid has no friends.

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Your face is hilarious.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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