why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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mental kid

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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