What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's a good joke? Not this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

thumb_up thumb_down +16

American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops