Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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Whats hard and long? An erect penile shaft.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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