At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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what is the difference between a black person and a white person there skin

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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What's orange and not an orange? An orange.

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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Your face

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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