Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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