- Anti Joke

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

i have read and agree to the terms of service

Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

Steven Hawking walks into a bar

What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.