Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had three balls.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

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I have a gay camel

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Q. Why did the triceratops die? A. A giant meteor hit him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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