A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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woman..parallel parking

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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4

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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Facebook How i met my mother

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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