Your face

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

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I am quite mature.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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