What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

Why was the man sad? His wife left

4

Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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