How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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A:knock, knock B:who's there A:come in B:come in who A:me I'm gay

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Cows are land manatees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops