yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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Your face

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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Knock knock Come in

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Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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