How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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Knock knock

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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Fucked thinking zero out of sub level -1 I hate Black Mexican Jews Born in China! But that does not make me a racist! I insist I am not a racist, there exists only two of them and they are both assholes... ...Or is that racist? :S NeroMetal: The ONLY Moralman aka the most pointless man in history not the "leader of Neronist whatever fuck I raped and killed that Faqq0t murderer, no fucking "Church Of Nero" There is no code embedded here... ...Or is that racist?:S

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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My mother-in-law fell down a stairway. I turned to my wife and said “Call an ambulance!!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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