OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

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God. God.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

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Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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cats are pussies

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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