What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

whats worse than a dead baby two dead babies what could be worse than that? constapation

how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

Penis

Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

This is Heading 1

whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.