- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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42

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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whats worse than a dead baby two dead babies what could be worse than that? constapation

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops