"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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2 + 2 = fish

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar everyone is amazed because the surgery he just got cured his parilization

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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brock has small hands for a small job

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I <3 Hitler

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops