A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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antonio is ssooo shexy and smokes

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yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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What bird can lift the most? i do not know, I suggest asking an Ornithologist

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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