When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

I walk into a bar...

What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

derp

How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

I like your hair

Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...