Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

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What's red, black, and green all over? A dead black bear. Just no green.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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