how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Q:Why Did the Black people die in there car A: They were Homeless

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;iub

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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Vagina cream... end of story

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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