What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

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Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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shitted on em put your numbah 2s in the air if ya did it on em

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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