life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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WEED!

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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heads up!

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops