Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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People Order Our Patties

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Hi what I lug you

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Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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